Ladies and gentlemen. My president is infinitely cooler than yours. And also nerdier. This is not a conflict.
Thank you Mr. President!
OMG
Change we can believe in.
Kids, back in 2012, your aunt Robin wanted to do something more with her life. So she took her love of guns to an organization called S.H.I.E.L.D and fought alongside the Avengers.
Now, your Uncle Barney and I took it pretty hard; she was getting to spend a lot of time with another billionaire playboy, this guy named Tony Stark. Your Uncle Barney almost went crazy when he found out the guy had a metal suit.
“It shoots fireballs, Ted! He looks like a freakin’ storm trooper!”
Then your uncle Barney decided to fight back.
A letter from Jack the Ripper (the original spelling and grammatical errors are here preserved):
“Dear Boss
I am down on whores and I shant quit ripping them til I do get buckled. Grand work the last job was. I gave the lady no time to squeal. How can they catch me now. I love my work and want to start again. You will soon hear of me with my funny little games. I saved some of the proper red stuff in a ginger beer bottle over the last job the write with but it went thick like glue and I cant use it. Red ink is fit enough I hope ha ha. The next job I do I shall clip the ladys ears off and send to the police officers just for jolly wouldn’t you. Keep this letter back till I do a bit more work, then give it out straight, My knife’s so nice and sharp I want to get to work right away if I get a chance. Good Luck. Yours truly
Jack the RIpper
Dont mind me giving the trade name.”
Penmanship has really gone down the terlet since those days.
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